Life

Sackcloth

- Melody 1 Comment

Sackcloth: made of goat hair; typically black; worn in times of mourning in Bible times; UNCOMFORTABLE.

The discomfort of the sackcloth represented your mourning and was a constant reminder of why you were wearing it in the first place. Your sorrow was physical. (Which is a whole other blog in itself!) Outwardly and inwardly. Nowadays, no one wears sackcloth in this country on a regular basis. We do wear black to symbolize our mourning. But what if we never take it off? What if our hearts or minds are clothed in dark sackcloth? I think of a widow alone in her house adorned in black. Her heart is so heavy with sorry she can’t even move. The neighborhood, not understanding, thinks of her as the old crazy lady. If only someone who was full of love and compassion would go to her door and tell her, “Rise up. There is no need to mourn. Delight in the Lord for He is good! He is faithful unto you and will deliver you from your sorrows. The time of mourning is over!” (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

I think of myself. How I just can’t take of my sackcloth. I mourn over everything. Have I forgotten what true joy feels like? I know the mourning is over. So why can’t I move on?

Maybe some of us are covered in mental sackcloth. We are so accustomed to the discomfort we don’t remember what joy feels like. True joy. Maybe someone should say to us, “Rise up. There is no need to mourn. Delight in the Lord for He is good! He is faithful unto you and will deliver you from sorrows. The time of mourning is over!”

Lovely Day

- Melody

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day! Though, yes, it was hot as a mug, it was good.

I woke up early this morning and lounged around for a while watching some Golden Girls and had a breakfast of Cheerios and wheat toast. Yum! Sinfully, I skipped out on my Jillian Michaels time to go stamp shopping with Mom and lil’ Rudy. I came home to find Jason here and he took me to lunch at McAlister’s. It was probably the best lunch I’ve ever had. Not only was the food delicious, but the conversation even more so. It was so nice to just sit and talk and relax together without having to be anywhere or to do anything. I love how we could talk for hours and never get anxious or antsy about being in one place for too long. It was so pretty. We sat near the window as the afternoon light beamed in on our table. We hit up some big thrift stores and had a pleasant afternoon shopping together. And no date day would be complete without a trip to the pet shop to oogle over the puppies!

I hope to have more days like this in the coming months and years. I hope your day was as lovely as mine! If not, never fear. There’s always tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow…

Friends

- Melody 2 Comments

When I was younger I NEVER thought of myself as pretty or popular or as having anything to offer anyone else. I was “friends” with the “popular” kids and “friends” with everyone else. I never was-and never will be-the girl who all the guys fawn over or all the girls want to go shopping with. I’m the girl who watches Flight of the Conchords and The Golden Girls and whose idea of a good time is cleaning house and cooking dinner and being in a quiet house on my laptop. But, when we moved a couple of neighborhoods over my 3rd grade year I met my best friend. We were virtually inseparable. Like sisters, if you will. Later, we became best friends with two other wonderful girls and our two-some became a four-some. We were close all the way through our freshman year in high school. I loved those girls. Though I had two sisters, I replaced my sisters with those girls. But, as some relationships do, those friendships faded out. Fortunately, God showed me some new friends. These friends had the same humor, liked the same foods, and got my jokes. They developed more of who I am today. But the relationships themselves were shallow. Don’t get me wrong, I had some good times with those people and I consider them friends of mine, but there was no spiritual support for me. No deeper connection other than our similar humors and that we liked some of the same things. But yet again, those too, faded out.

I don’t regret any of those friendships because God used the friendship famines to bring my sister and me closer together. I realized that the friend I had been searching for had been my flesh and blood all along. A couple of years later, Jason came, and every day since then I am more baffled by just how well he knows me and just how much we are alike. Sometimes we can’t stand it but mostly, we just smile a knowing smile and squeeze each other tightly.

I haven’t felt that longing for friendship in a long time, but when Jason and I were at dinner the other night, there were 3 young couples out on a date together laughing and talking about life together and I couldn’t help that painful longing for another couple to appear across the table from us. I love my time alone with Jason but we’re both pretty much loners when it comes to friends. We have friends, but not friends.

I’ve started a book called “Before I Fall” (not a Christian book by any means. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.) about four girlfriends going through their senior year of high school. I’m barely into the book and can’t help but wonder what my high school years would look like had I closer friends like that going through the things I went through. Would I be a different person? How would my life have developed? No doubt God didn’t screw up by not giving me close friends in high school. He had a plan to draw me nearer my family and to stumble upon Jason at a bible study.

I can’t describe that feeling I felt in the restaurant that night. I wanted so badly to have another couple who was just like us. People who were embarrassingly goofy and awkward and who didn’t have enough sense to quit acting like idiots long enough to look at the menu. We joke with each other and our families about how we don’t have any friends but deep down I know it’s true for me. When I think about our wedding showers parts of me think about all the fun we’ll have but the other part of me thinks, “who’s going to come?” That probably sounds superficial and shallow but it’s what I think. I honestly wish I had more friends than I do, but maybe God is preparing me for something. Maybe being out in Cowtown, TX will be quieter than I think it’s going to be.

I guess there’s no real point to this post except that I miss something I’ve never really had. Do you have a best friend who supports you spiritually, emotionally, or comically?

Best,
Melody

I Have a Bad Habit of Posting Late at Night

- Melody 1 Comment

Disclaimer: This was supposed to be posted Friday night! 😛

Well, I’ve just realized that I didn’t get around to my workout today. :/ Sorry, Jillian! I’m sort of thankful because Level 2 that I started yesterday was a lot harder than I thought. I was honestly a little nervous going into it! She kicked my butt, but it’s nice. In a you’re-going-to-get-results way. Granted, Jillian Michaels is a little awkward on camera. I’m hoping it was one of her first recorded workout DVDs. Nonetheless it’s still an incredible workout and I can’t wait to see how I’m feeling and looking once these 30 days are up!

On another note, I’ve developed a hobby of cooking. I cooked for Mom’s birthday, the other night I found a recipe on Yahoo and cooked it out of nowhere for the fam, just yesterday I found a 5-minute cake recipe that actually turned out delicious! Now, instead of dreading helping in the kitchen or thinking up a meal of my own, I anticipate it! I enjoy mixing new ingredients together and tasting new cuisines. It’s exhilarating. But my all time favorite thing about cooking is cooking for other people. I can’t wait for them to taste it and I get excited for them to try what I’ve come up with. So much so, that I get aggravated when they don’t immediately come to the table when it’s ready! Mom bought me the church cookbook for Christmas. It’s chock FULL of recipes and I can’t wait to cook every last one of them for me and Jason. 😀

Faithfulness

- Melody

My Dad posted this quote earlier today on Facebook:

Jesus looks out for faithful men, and He fixes His eyes upon them, to observe them, to bring them forward, to encourage them, and to reward them. Let no truehearted man think that he is overlooked; the King Himself has His eye upon him.
C. H. Spurgeon

Someone commented “Wow, good one.” And that’s all I could think. Wow.. I derived from that quote two things. One, He is faithful to me. Two, am I faithful to Him? I was so convicted when I read that. In the department of faithfulness I’ve failed miserably.

I work in a library. A quiet, small library where I’m responsible for shelving the books. My job is secluded and serene. (Most of the time). Though sometimes I’m ready to walk out and never come back, this job gives me thinking time. Time for me to walk around as slowly or as quickly as I want without being bothered and just think. Let my mind wander.

Lately, well I say lately, my Dad has really struggled with his job situation. Meaning, he hates it. And I don’t blame him. Day in day out with the same ungrateful people who give him no respect. It hurts me, but it hurts him a lot more. We took our family vacation last week in Chattanooga, Tennessee where my dad’s sister moved when she remarried an incredible man. He is strong in the Lord and an encouragement to me and my family probably more than he knows. This man ministered to my dad to stay strong in the Lord and to see His will for him and our family.

When my mind was wandering here in the library yesterday, my thoughts wandered to my dad. I was thinking about how much I didn’t want to be here at work and how much I wanted to quit when I thought of him. He leaves our house at 5:30 every morning and gets home about 5, sometimes later. He’s there with loud machines and people who don’t lift him up. All day. I complain working here for three hours a day! My dad is faithful. Faithful to that job because he knows he has 4 girls to support. One heading to middle school, another off to college, and one getting married.

Faithfulness. I’ve heard this word a lot this week. On the radio a Christian artist explained how God told him to be faithful. So he was. And God was faithful back! So why do we struggle with that so much? If we’re faithful to God and His will He will surely be faithful to us. Like He always is.

So dad, if you’re reading this, take heart in that quote you posted and trust that something big is coming. Expect rain. Expect a huge thunderstorm. Expect something a lot bigger than yourself because it’s coming. And when it does, we’ll all be in awe.

Tennessee Family

- Melody 1 Comment

Since last Sunday evening we’ve been here in Chattanooga, TN. I’ve loved every second. I’ve done things I’ve never done before and spent precious time with our chaotic family. Yesterday we went white water rafting. I was so afraid and scared I would topple out of that $8,000 raft and never get back to it, but I never fell out and it was one of the most fun experiences I have ever had! Last night, my sister got a tattoo. Yes. A tattoo. I plan on getting one today if they have an opening. (Pray for me! Shel said it hurts.) I’ve been tubing down this relaxing river with all of my family and eaten at a German themed restaurant. I’ve eaten breakfast every morning and been woken up by a cloud of family members in the kitchen.

There are mountains covered in tall trees with tons of shades of green. The roads are winding everywhere you go. We’re two hours from everything: Nashville, Atlanta, rafting, tubing, Birmingham… Everything is cheaper. Houses are huge and gorgeous. Acres of land are cheaper. Family is here. Family alone is a good enough reason to pick up and move 10 hours away from where I’ve been for 19 years of my life.

Every single one of us has been in this house for a week or more. Every single one of us has had the time of our lives exploring this new town and the surrounding areas. We’ve all enjoyed making fun of each other and being loud and dancing and singing and driving way too fast on these scary curves. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go back to reality. Anticipating this vacation I didn’t think it’d be anything like a vacation. We’re staying in our cousins’ house in a town we’ve never been too. There’s no beach to go to everyday, there’s no snow to ski in. But there are rivers, creeks, hiking, shopping. But most of all there’s FAMILY. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that it doesn’t matter where your vacation is. It’s who you’re vacationing with.

If you know anything about my family you know we’re loud and chaotic. We’re big and you’ll know where we are when we’re there. I love them and I would never ever trade them for anyone or anything.