Life

One of Those Days

- Melody

Pretend that “those” is italicized because that’s how I’m saying it in my head. For emphasis.

I guess that choir trip to Tulsa last weekend reeeally wiped me out because I’ve been thoroughly exhausted by the time 10pm rolls around and usually I’m not that tired until 11.30. But since I’ve obeyed my body I’ve actually gotten up BEFORE my alarm every day! Still can’t decide if that’s a good thing… but, hey! I wore makeup today!

Despite my accomplishment of wearing makeup today, it turned into one of those my-life-is-a-black-hole-I’ll-never-lose-any-weight-I’m-just-gonna-make-cookies-and-watch-a-bajillion-episodes-of-The Golden Girls-and-House-while-Jason-talks-to-his-brother-on-the-phone days. These happen more often than you think. The cookies and Golden Girls part, anyway.

My day started out like any other day. Wake up begrudgingly and resent Jason for being able to sleep in for another half hour, get ready and frantically try to find clean clothes in the mountain of them in my floor, grab my books, tell Tooncy goodbye, and drive to school while trying to stay awake. Classes were fine and my second one even let out about 40 minutes early. With my two-hour break I ate breakfast started on my music theory final and even talked to Jason.

But then my voice lesson came… Just before my lesson every Thursday I’m in rehearsal for our girls’ choir for an hour and a half. I was feeling really good about that rehearsal. I had all my parts down and was even a little sad that time flew by so quickly. But when you’re in a choir, sometimes you don’t always hear how your own voice sounds because you’re blending in with other voices. So to go from being a uniformed sound to a solo is kind of hard sometimes.

It was just one of those lessons for me that I couldn’t stop obsessing about how bad I needed a hair cut every time I looked into that giant mirror of hers she keeps in front of her students and how awfully tired my voice sounded. Sometimes I have flashes in my head of “You’ll never have a career in music. You suck! Give it up! No one would ever give you a job much less a record deal.” Those devastate me.

So that’s how I was feeling on the silent 40 minute ride on the way home. Wondering how I’d get through the next 2-3 years of my college life and brooding over the fact that I don’t want to be a music teacher with all my heart but sensibly it makes sense to go ahead and get that teacher certification in case those voices in my head do come true. I dread going to school in the fall because I know the rest of my schooling will be focused on psychology classes and how to deal with students and how to teach and to conduct and all the things I loathe with all of my heart! It makes me feel like I’m majoring in something I don’t love doing. And that’s just not true.

Music is the only thing that’s ever made any sense to me and it’s the only thing I’ll ever want to do. But doing it in the form of teaching just isn’t…. me. At all. I can see why it’d be fun for some people: the relationships, the building up of young lives… but.. I don’t see that for me. And I’m pretty good at at least sensing what my next move is.

So after those 40 minutes of depressing thoughts and questions I came home, turned on Golden Girls and waited for Jason to come home. Then, I made cookies. I couldn’t be happier that I have the day off tomorrow. I need the alone time (sadly, Jason doesn’t have the day off..sad.) to think and reflect and honestly to just do some laundry. My sister is having a party tomorrow night so it’ll be nice to get out later on and socialize.

Anyway, sorry for the heaviness of this post, but I really needed it.

Happy…? Almost Maundy Friday.

One of Those Days

- Melody

Pretend that “those” is italicized because that’s how I’m saying it in my head. For emphasis.

I guess that choir trip to Tulsa last weekend reeeally wiped me out because I’ve been thoroughly exhausted by the time 10pm rolls around and usually I’m not that tired until 11.30. But since I’ve obeyed my body I’ve actually gotten up BEFORE my alarm every day! Still can’t decide if that’s a good thing… but, hey! I wore makeup today!

Despite my accomplishment of wearing makeup today, it turned into one of those my-life-is-a-black-hole-I’ll-never-lose-any-weight-I’m-just-gonna-make-cookies-and-watch-a-bajillion-episodes-of-The Golden Girls-and-House-while-Jason-talks-to-his-brother-on-the-phone days. These happen more often than you think. The cookies and Golden Girls part, anyway.

My day started out like any other day. Wake up begrudgingly and resent Jason for being able to sleep in for another half hour, get ready and frantically try to find clean clothes in the mountain of them in my floor, grab my books, tell Tooncy goodbye, and drive to school while trying to stay awake. Classes were fine and my second one even let out about 40 minutes early. With my two-hour break I ate breakfast started on my music theory final and even talked to Jason.

But then my voice lesson came… Just before my lesson every Thursday I’m in rehearsal for our girls’ choir for an hour and a half. I was feeling really good about that rehearsal. I had all my parts down and was even a little sad that time flew by so quickly. But when you’re in a choir, sometimes you don’t always hear how your own voice sounds because you’re blending in with other voices. So to go from being a uniformed sound to a solo is kind of hard sometimes.

It was just one of those lessons for me that I couldn’t stop obsessing about how bad I needed a hair cut every time I looked into that giant mirror of hers she keeps in front of her students and how awfully tired my voice sounded. Sometimes I have flashes in my head of “You’ll never have a career in music. You suck! Give it up! No one would ever give you a job much less a record deal.” Those devastate me.

So that’s how I was feeling on the silent 40 minute ride on the way home. Wondering how I’d get through the next 2-3 years of my college life and brooding over the fact that I don’t want to be a music teacher with all my heart but sensibly it makes sense to go ahead and get that teacher certification in case those voices in my head do come true. I dread going to school in the fall because I know the rest of my schooling will be focused on psychology classes and how to deal with students and how to teach and to conduct and all the things I loathe with all of my heart! It makes me feel like I’m majoring in something I don’t love doing. And that’s just not true.

Music is the only thing that’s ever made any sense to me and it’s the only thing I’ll ever want to do. But doing it in the form of teaching just isn’t…. me. At all. I can see why it’d be fun for some people: the relationships, the building up of young lives… but.. I don’t see that for me. And I’m pretty good at at least sensing what my next move is.

So after those 40 minutes of depressing thoughts and questions I came home, turned on Golden Girls and waited for Jason to come home. Then, I made cookies. I couldn’t be happier that I have the day off tomorrow. I need the alone time (sadly, Jason doesn’t have the day off..sad.) to think and reflect and honestly to just do some laundry. My sister is having a party tomorrow night so it’ll be nice to get out later on and socialize.

Anyway, sorry for the heaviness of this post, but I really needed it.

Happy…? Almost Maundy Friday.

My Life is Good

- Melody 4 Comments

Yes, I’m back from my leave of absence for now! And life is good. I’ll take what I can get.

Since I’ve been gone I took a trip to Tulsa with the college choir. It was… rough. We were all ready to come home. I’ll share pictures of the awesome zoo we went to though, later!

While I was gone, Jason bought drywall for the living room. A while back we tried to paint the uuugglyyyy wood paneling that covered our walls but it was so old it started bubbling and peeling back so we (read: Jason) took a chance and ripped it down. I was pleasantly surprised to find recycled wood underneath! There were all different colors and textures. Sadly, in some places water had taken its toll and it was rotting. In addition there was a layer of a cheesecloth type fabric nailed EVERYWHERE underneath the paneling. We tried as hard as we could to get the leftover strings off the wall to no avail. SO! While I was gone Jason drywalled 3/4 of the living room. IT. LOOKS. AWESOME. It’s actually turning into a room now!

We have a really neat mantel and wooden trim everywhere. We’re going to paint it white and eventually paint the walls a light gray/blue. As of now we only have a futon my in-laws gave us from our wedding registry. Unfortunately, sitting on it for 30 minutes or more will make your bum/legs numb. We plan on using our tax refund for a flippin’ awesome couch and a dishwasher because ours smells like burnt rubber when we run it. Yikes!

just a little picture for you to oogle at. 🙂

In a matter of weeks I graduate with an Associate of Arts degree. (Vocal performance.) THANKFULLY, so many of my friends are going to UT Tyler in the fall, too! (SHOUTOUT! Randa, Preston, Kait, and Austin!!!) I’m so excited for a break from all of this madness. I seem to be so absent-minded lately. I have a concert next Thursday and a huge Theory project due that same day. Wheeeew.

—

If you don’t already know, we live in a house owned by the school where Jason works. We don’t pay rent, by the grace of God. But with that awesomeness comes a little suck-ness. i.e.: Since the spring has arrived, our big yard has grown. A lot. We don’t own a mower. Before we got married the maintenance staff mowed it with their tractor because the bus barn/maintenance place is literally in our backyard. However, apparently some of the school board members complained/mentioned to the superintendent that our yard was atrocious and that we needed to mow it. YESTERDAY. Again. We don’t own a mower.

At work today, the super called Jason into his office and basically scolded him and told him the yard needed to be mowed today. This upset me for a number of reasons. 1) They don’t care about the house. They’d abandon it if something terrible happen and we’d have no place to live. 2) Since we don’t pay rent they can basically tell us when to jump and we have to. 3) They were upset because it “makes the school look bad”. Our yard… makes the school look bad…?

So guess who just spent 4 hours mowing the yard? Poor hubby. He begged me to do some indoor work, so being the awesome wife I am, I swept the whole house (work. out!) washed all the dishes, and cleaned up most of the living room mess from the dry wall. There’s still a lot of laundry to be done, but at least there’s not dust everywhere now.

Oh, and who is sick of all these junebugs!? Good thing for Toonces. There are dead ones everywhere.

Until tomorrow…

My Life is Good

- Melody

Yes, I’m back from my leave of absence for now! And life is good. I’ll take what I can get.

Since I’ve been gone I took a trip to Tulsa with the college choir. It was… rough. We were all ready to come home. I’ll share pictures of the awesome zoo we went to though, later!

While I was gone, Jason bought drywall for the living room. A while back we tried to paint the uuugglyyyy wood paneling that covered our walls but it was so old it started bubbling and peeling back so we (read: Jason) took a chance and ripped it down. I was pleasantly surprised to find recycled wood underneath! There were all different colors and textures. Sadly, in some places water had taken its toll and it was rotting. In addition there was a layer of a cheesecloth type fabric nailed EVERYWHERE underneath the paneling. We tried as hard as we could to get the leftover strings off the wall to no avail. SO! While I was gone Jason drywalled 3/4 of the living room. IT. LOOKS. AWESOME. It’s actually turning into a room now!

We have a really neat mantel and wooden trim everywhere. We’re going to paint it white and eventually paint the walls a light gray/blue. As of now we only have a futon my in-laws gave us from our wedding registry. Unfortunately, sitting on it for 30 minutes or more will make your bum/legs numb. We plan on using our tax refund for a flippin’ awesome couch and a dishwasher because ours smells like burnt rubber when we run it. Yikes!

just a little picture for you to oogle at. 🙂

In a matter of weeks I graduate with an Associate of Arts degree. (Vocal performance.) THANKFULLY, so many of my friends are going to UT Tyler in the fall, too! (SHOUTOUT! Randa, Preston, Kait, and Austin!!!) I’m so excited for a break from all of this madness. I seem to be so absent-minded lately. I have a concert next Thursday and a huge Theory project due that same day. Wheeeew.

–

If you don’t already know, we live in a house owned by the school where Jason works. We don’t pay rent, by the grace of God. But with that awesomeness comes a little suck-ness. i.e.: Since the spring has arrived, our big yard has grown. A lot. We don’t own a mower. Before we got married the maintenance staff mowed it with their tractor because the bus barn/maintenance place is literally in our backyard. However, apparently some of the school board members complained/mentioned to the superintendent that our yard was atrocious and that we needed to mow it. YESTERDAY. Again. We don’t own a mower.

At work today, the super called Jason into his office and basically scolded him and told him the yard needed to be mowed today. This upset me for a number of reasons. 1) They don’t care about the house. They’d abandon it if something terrible happen and we’d have no place to live. 2) Since we don’t pay rent they can basically tell us when to jump and we have to. 3) They were upset because it “makes the school look bad”. Our yard… makes the school look bad…?

So guess who just spent 4 hours mowing the yard? Poor hubby. He begged me to do some indoor work, so being the awesome wife I am, I swept the whole house (work. out!) washed all the dishes, and cleaned up most of the living room mess from the dry wall. There’s still a lot of laundry to be done, but at least there’s not dust everywhere now.

Oh, and who is sick of all these junebugs!? Good thing for Toonces. There are dead ones everywhere.

Until tomorrow…

Neglecting

- Melody

So sorry I’ve neglected you, sweet blog. And lied to you about posting about my wedding. I promise I’ll get to it soon! I’m so busy with our Spring Vocal that’s coming up this Saturday and with a surprise that our humongous PowerPoint for my online world lit class is due next week instead of four weeks from now. I guess I’d better get on that.

Today is A&A day but I figured since I’ve neglected this long why not neglect this day too! Not really. But I really won’t be doing one today.

Since I’m not doing that I guess I’ll tell you how my week has been and what I’m doing now.

Tuesday afternoon I came home and took a super long nap. Like a four hour one. I guess that’s a sleep. Anyway, I woke up and felt really sick. I was sick all afternoon and part of the night. It was awful. Poor Jason didn’t even want to be around me so I stayed in our room watching Scrubs on Netflix but when that got to be too loud for my stomach I had to turn it off and lay in silence willing the nausea to go away. It didn’t work.

I woke up Wednesday feeling better but afraid that I would get sick at school so I stayed home and slept the rest of it off. I ate a little and felt better. Jason went to the store and got me ice cream and Dr. Pepper. 🙂 By the time 7 pm rolled around last night I was starving so I finally ate some pizza and watching a lot of episodes of House. Jason fell asleep in the chair next to me but I wasn’t even tired. All the episodes of House in our DVR were played out and I was so bored I couldn’t think of anything to do but go to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. Finally, after 5 games of Solitaire, rest found me.

I got up for school this morning and felt humongous. Blahhhh. I went to class and felt pretty good. My voice lesson had to move into the big gap I had in my day which only left me a few minutes to eat lunch before 5. After class, I had rehearsal for aforementioned Spring Vocal. Luckily, (for the record, I don’t believe in luck, just using it as one of those words like however, therefore, you know, grammar) my duet was up first so I got to leave after that. Woo.

After that, a little retail therapy at the local Goodwill to get costumes for the Spring Vocal and maybe a couple of things unrelated to that. 🙂 Shhh.. don’t tell Jason.

As of now, I’m watching reruns of the office and cooking marinated chicken and roasting veggies in the oven and making rice pilaf out of a box. Don’t judge.

I’d tell you what I was doing later but it’s none of your business. 🙂

FYI, I’ll be taking a hiatus (like I haven’t already) on the blog for parts of next week. I’ll be working on that darned PowerPoint that snuck up on me and tried to slash my Achilles’ heel. Jerk.

Lates. 🙂

Neglecting

- Melody 1 Comment

So sorry I’ve neglected you, sweet blog. And lied to you about posting about my wedding. I promise I’ll get to it soon! I’m so busy with our Spring Vocal that’s coming up this Saturday and with a surprise that our humongous PowerPoint for my online world lit class is due next week instead of four weeks from now. I guess I’d better get on that.

Today is A&A day but I figured since I’ve neglected this long why not neglect this day too! Not really. But I really won’t be doing one today.

Since I’m not doing that I guess I’ll tell you how my week has been and what I’m doing now.

Tuesday afternoon I came home and took a super long nap. Like a four hour one. I guess that’s a sleep. Anyway, I woke up and felt really sick. I was sick all afternoon and part of the night. It was awful. Poor Jason didn’t even want to be around me so I stayed in our room watching Scrubs on Netflix but when that got to be too loud for my stomach I had to turn it off and lay in silence willing the nausea to go away. It didn’t work.

I woke up Wednesday feeling better but afraid that I would get sick at school so I stayed home and slept the rest of it off. I ate a little and felt better. Jason went to the store and got me ice cream and Dr. Pepper. 🙂 By the time 7 pm rolled around last night I was starving so I finally ate some pizza and watching a lot of episodes of House. Jason fell asleep in the chair next to me but I wasn’t even tired. All the episodes of House in our DVR were played out and I was so bored I couldn’t think of anything to do but go to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. Finally, after 5 games of Solitaire, rest found me.

I got up for school this morning and felt humongous. Blahhhh. I went to class and felt pretty good. My voice lesson had to move into the big gap I had in my day which only left me a few minutes to eat lunch before 5. After class, I had rehearsal for aforementioned Spring Vocal. Luckily, (for the record, I don’t believe in luck, just using it as one of those words like however, therefore, you know, grammar) my duet was up first so I got to leave after that. Woo.

After that, a little retail therapy at the local Goodwill to get costumes for the Spring Vocal and maybe a couple of things unrelated to that. 🙂 Shhh.. don’t tell Jason.

As of now, I’m watching reruns of the office and cooking marinated chicken and roasting veggies in the oven and making rice pilaf out of a box. Don’t judge.

I’d tell you what I was doing later but it’s none of your business. 🙂

FYI, I’ll be taking a hiatus (like I haven’t already) on the blog for parts of next week. I’ll be working on that darned PowerPoint that snuck up on me and tried to slash my Achilles’ heel. Jerk.

Lates. 🙂