Kelsey should have been a pixie. Or a fairy. Or a Disney princess.

My first memory of Kelsey is our first day of school in choir and she was wearing the coolest combat boots. The second memory I have is of her kicking off her heels in choir because she couldn’t stand in them for the whole class. (We stand in choir. No sitting allowed!) When I told her these things she told me about her grandmother and how she loved shoes and was given forty pairs when she passed away. Now Kelsey is a shoe lover. Fitting that I should meet her that way, we thought.

Like the way I met Candice, Kelsey and I never officially shook hands and said hello. Our friendship just kind of grew, especially over this last year. That’s what I love about this series. It gives us a chance to stop and recount our friendships and see how it all began and see the growth over the years. It’s pretty great.

A little over a year ago the school choir took a weekend trip to Houston to sing for a few other colleges. Since Kait and I lived so far away Kelsey offered her house for us to crash the night before we left. Somehow during that night we discovered that Kelsey and her older sister are adopted. Like everyone else I was totally shocked. Adoption utterly fascinates me. I haven’t had any experience with it but so many questions come to mind. What about the biological parents? When were they adopted? How was the whole process? Was it easy to adjust?

Those questions were answered when I met Kelsey’s parents. They’re amazing. They welcome us all in with open arms and give us snacks and food and remember me from only the two times I’ve been to their house. They’re sweet and loving and care about Kelsey and her sister as their girls. Because they are their girls. The whole thing is just totally cool to me. But that’s not who Kelsey is to me.

Kelsey is… fun.

When she texted me asking when we could do her GTKY, she came up with the picnic idea and said she’d get us sandwiches and we’d go to a park. By far the cutest GTKY so far. (Everyone else now has a standard to beat.) We met at the park with Jimmy John’s (delicious) and maybe or maybe not some Red’s Strawberry Ales. We parked and she pulled out her picnic bag complete with her grandmother’s yellow picnic blanket.

I gushed about how utterly cute and photogenic the whole thing was while she told me about how the blanket used to be on her grandmother’s big backyard table. We sat down and slowly the ants started to attack. There were only a few at first but then hundreds. Literally hundreds of ants swarmed the picnic blanket and tried stealing our sandwiches. They didn’t bite so we endured it while we talked and she answered my questions.

—

If our names were a hashtag, what would it be?
#melodsey

What do you remember about when we first met?
I’m really horrible with names. And don’t hate me, but I feel like you just appeared in my life.

When is your birthday?
April 26, 1992

How do you relax when you’re stressed?
I have several ways.
During the school year I ignore it and work harder and I get to a point where I’m like AHHHH. (I’m witness to this.)
Usually I talk it out with somebody.
I practice classical violin or play bluegrass (The Scrips!). It’s so relaxing and wonderful to play in a bluegrass band but I need that time to play by myself in a classical way.
I do get lonely and I need to hang out with people, but sometimes I just need to be alone. It’s hard to really define how I decompress.

What makes a place home for you?
The people. But kind of the environment. Going along with the need to be around people but home is the place where I can go be by myself but also a place where people can come and be together. There’s different types of home. Like, the building, but also the home you carry in your heart.

What’s your biggest passion? Something that makes you really happy like what you were put on earth to do.
Music!
I think music for sure. I don’t know if I have one specific passion. I’ve discovered that whatever I’m currently doing that’s my passion: opera, teaching, piano…
It’s a blessing and a curse. Like I can be happy doing whatever but what am I supposed to do?

What’s your favorite time of day?
I have a favorite type of day. Not a favorite time of day. I love dry heat. When it looks like it’s going to storm hard and I want it to, but it won’t.

Pet peeves?
When people end a sentence with the word “at.” You don’t need that word! It’s superfluous!
Also I don’t like bacon. (WEIRD.)
I don’t like when somebody is hurting and people are not sympathetic and they’re fueling it.
Negativity.
Cussing.

—

 

Kelsey is goofy and silly and always up for an adventure. At the park where we had our picnic, there’s a little pond. She told me about a secret trail that takes you from the water part of the park down to the pond. I let her lead me down the trail at dusk because woods at night creep me out, but we made it out alive. We then walked back to the splash park, I rolled up my jeans, and we ran through the water. No telling how many feet have been in that water, but hey. All in the name of adventure, right?

This is who Kelsey is. Adventurous and fun. She’s a child at heart. Disney and play make her happy. Her eyes light up at the thought of something new that her group of friends can do together. But there’s a serious side of Kelsey. One night at dinner when some people walked out to smoke for a while and just the two of us were left, Kelsey opened up to me just about life. I love that she feels free to talk to people no matter what level of friendship. She is genuine and pixie-like; which is the quality most of us know and love about her. She’s brave and perfect in front of a crowd, which is great because her classical voice is one I could listen to for days. Her light and airy soprano sound is beautiful and “like a thousand angels singing,” as someone put it once.

Kelsey, like most of us at this age, doesn’t know where or what she’ll be doing, but she knows it’s music. I don’t doubt she’ll be great at whatever it is. And I can’t wait to watch her do it.

A little over a year ago Kait, our friend Robert and I accompanied our choir director to a local private school to observe their choir rehearsal for our choral conducting class. In that rehearsal sat my now friend Bailey. Last August he started school at UT Tyler and joined the choir. I was “graduated” by then, but through some conversing we all slowly started to figure out that he was there that day we went to observe! However, he remembered everyone else but me. Thanks, Bailey.

The first time we officially met was at our traditional after choir concert dinner at Yamato, a Japanese restaurant in Tyler. We barely spoke but everyone said he was cool. I’m naive and believed them. Good thing it turned out to be true! Since then, we’ve bonded over our shared love of photography and music. I found him on Instagram one day and realized he’s a pretty awesome photographer and about 900 Instagrammers feel the same way. He’s much…much better than me. (Remember the instameet? He was there! See if you can spot him in a picture.)

—

If our names were a hashtag, what would it be?
#bailody
Is that good?

What do you remember about when we first met?
It was at Yamato’s after our choir concert and Kait kept saying, “Melody is coming!” and I was like, “I don’t know who that is!”

When is your birthday?
June 16, 1994 (This past Monday! Happy Birthday!)

How do you relax when you’re stressed?
I take a nap because usually the reason I’m stressed is because I don’t have enough sleep.

What makes a place home for you?
When I can walk around in just boxers and not feel ashamed. I’m probably going to read this later and wonder why I said some of these things.

What’s your biggest passion?
I really love to give.
My other passion is music. One of my favorite things to do is play piano in the house when no one is home and sing at the top of my lungs.

What’s your favorite time of day?
Night time when it gets dark out. I hate the morning.

Pet peeves?
When people are on their phones and won’t look at me when I’m trying to talk to them.

—

This guy loves music. I crashed the university choir’s Christmas party last year and we all stuck around the piano all night and sang while he played. It was a blast. He’s introduced me to new music and new artists that I’ve never heard of but I’ve fallen in love with. See? Cool.

Bailey is funny and sweet. Oh, and smart. He’s a biochemistry major and wants to be a doctor! So ambitious. I know a doctor, sorta.

It’s pretty amazing how in such a short amount of time we’ve become pretty good friends. I love when a person just fits and feels comfortable enough to just stride right into a group of total strangers. You’re so great, Bailey. I can’t wait to spend more time together and get to know you even more! Here’s to your 20s. 🙂

photo by Shel from the Instameet!

 

It’s totally possible for this picture to be this entire post of getting to know my friend Candice. This picture embodies her personality completely. Giddy and bubbly and sweet to her very core.
One of my first memories of Candice is how well she can pinpoint someone’s personality. I remember sitting in the lobby at school one day and she gave me a personality test to take and nailed me before I even took it. She said I was outgoing and loved people and needed to be around them to be happy. (I didn’t even really know those qualities fully then.) She said she was introverted and quiet and observed the dynamic before coming forward to be noticed. She could not have been more right. Candice loves analyzing people and showing them who they are and encouraging them in that place. It’s one of the most unique and beautiful qualities about her.

When we sat down to dinner to do the official Getting To Know You and caught up for an hour while turning away our waiter a whopping five times (a new record) because we were talking too much to even glance at our menus, I asked her the same questions I asked Kait.
I love her answers.

 

If our names were a hashtag, what would it be?
#candimelody. Like a sweet melody!

What do you remember about when we first met?
(When I asked her this, we both sort of looked at each other confused. Neither of us remember meeting each other but just sort of falling into a friendship. But she remembered some details!) You were Kait’s friend, so that’s how I remembered you. My sister was friends with Lauren (another mutual friend of ours) so I hung out when them all summer. Then when we went to school in the fall I clung to Lauren because she’s outgoing. I am not. You and I didn’t really get to know each other until our second year of school together. The first time we really hung out was on our choir trip to Houston for the weekend. We roomed together! (Here’s a hilarious story about Candice from this trip. She took melatonin to sleep but beforehand our room had been designated as the hang out zone. So half the choir was hanging out in our room while Candice was in a melatonin daze in the floor coloring a picture of a shoe. She eventually got tired enough that she crawled into bed where four other people were sitting, but only after telling us, explaining how melatonin makes you feel, “it’ll knock you ouuuuuuuut!” Then, once everyone left, I turned out the lights and heard a quiet, “Melody?” “Yeah, Candice?” “Do you mind if I turn on the air?” “Sure, Candice. Good night.” I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard.)

When is your birthday?
December 28, 1989

How do you relax when you’re stressed?
I close the door and get by myself. I have a playlist called a soaking playlist. The first song is In Your Presence by Jason Upton. I get in His presence and just ask Him what’s going on. Sometimes I take a bath or lay in my bed or get on my keyboard and sing. But it always starts with that song.

What makes a place home for you?
Wherever I’m sleeping! But really wherever I have a sense of peace. Like that’s where I’m supposed to be.

What’s your biggest passion? Something that makes you feel like what you’re on this earth to do.
Being on a stage. Leading worship. I love being able to share that and help people figure their problems out. I love being able to be there for someone and be your battle buddy. I love the feeling of knowing I’m being used by God.

What’s your favorite time of day?
Depends on the day! But the afternoon after school’s out. When it’s still early enough you can sit outside in that peaceful bird chirping and sun shining and enjoy the day before homework or the night stuff comes.

Pet peeves?
Bad drivers and chewing ice.

Make a note, people. Don’t chew ice around Candice.
Candice grew up around Houston until her teenage years when her parents moved to Doha, Qatar. (I know, right.) Candice spent her last two years of high school there making friends and traveling the Middle East and Europe. But when she moved, technically she was going to be a senior. Nervous, Candice decided to retake her junior year and take two years of high school in Doha. She just wasn’t ready to graduate yet.
To her, Doha is home even though her early life was spent in Houston. Like she said, home is wherever she finds peace. Peace right now is in Tyler living with her brother and sister, but she’s getting restless. God is getting ready to pluck her up and move her for His purpose and I’m so excited to see where that takes her.

Remember that choir trip to Houston she was talking about? Well that trip was about a month before the final date of our divorce last year. No one knew then except my family and Kait, but I was tired of hiding and it was getting too hard to keep such a big part of my life a secret. So I promised myself I’d tell Candice that weekend. I didn’t know this until months later, but God had laid me on Candice’s heart that very same week to pray for me and talk to me about what was going on without knowing a single thing. And this. This. is who Candice is to me. She’s God’s sweet daughter. She’s humble and willing to serve at His feet. She will pray for you any second you ask her and she’s there when you need her. She is your battle buddy. She freely lets God use and speak through her and that’s why I’m always so encouraged every time I’m around her. We could only talk about the paint on the walls but because of her sweet spirit I’m encouraged. She lets her light shine bright and all that know her are blessed because of it.

 

Candice, I love you. Be encouraged that God knows where you are right now and is going to catch you in that free fall and before you know it His path will be laid out for you and you’ll walk on it freely. 🙂 Go for Tennessee, girl.

 

 

xx

I first met Kait my second year at our local junior college. I was a few months away from being married, didn’t have a lot of friends, and was really focused on being the good kid. I was quiet, only making jokes in the awkward moments or during the ruckus. I remember there being new faces on that first day in choir especially in the alto section where I sat. We were rearranged and I was sat next to a girl named Kait. There was a specific moment, and I don’t remember the joke or what was said, that I realized this girl gets me. A few weeks later we were passing around a roll sheet or something and I glanced at her last name. Grogan? How the crap do you even pronounce that? And thinking very seriously about how we could exchange numbers and become best friends. SPOILER ALERT: we exchanged numbers and are now bffs.

From the very first day we met we just clicked. If you’ve ever met me you know my humor is sarcastic and weird, so basically if you’ve met me you’ve met Kait. We are the same. It was such a relief and actually a shock to find someone so much like me. I was blindsided by our friendship because I wasn’t looking.

Our friendship grew like an awkward teenage boy into something neither of us probably expected. Kait has been my confidant, my encourager, and someone who still gets me even when I don’t think anyone does. She constantly surprises me by how much she gets me. It’s pretty cool.

She is gentle and caring and crazy about dogs. Beware if you’re walking your dog within 500 feet of her. She will find you and she will pet it. She’s generous and hard-working and has a serious work ethic. She once made an A on a project and was so upset about it she explained to our teacher why she deserved an A+. She got it.

Kait grew up in Ohio with her sister and parents then moved to Louisiana. Her teenage years were spent here in east Texas and for that I could not be happier. She still talks about snow like it’s a real thing, though.

We’re often together and where one of us is the other will be, as the rest of our friends have figured out. We text all day every day about all the girl crazy, embarrassing daily things and deep fears that we realize in the middle of Ulta. I can’t imagine how I deserve a friend like her.

Kait loves music. Like, loves music. So much so that her high school choir teacher inspired her to major in music and teach! The very same teacher she will get to student teach with this fall. She’s so happy. Kait’s a teacher. She teaches me and has taught me over late night text messages when I didn’t understand the homework. She’s smart, you guys. Real smart.

So like a really smart and good blogger I came up with some questions after I’d already started this series but just in time for this week’s GTKY. 🙂 Here are Kait’s answers to the greatest list of questions ever created:

If our names were a hashtag, what would it be?
#kaitodylynlisegrich #isthatwhatyoumeant?

What do you remember about when we first met?
I’m assuming the first day we met was my first day of college at KC but I don’t really remember the first day. I just remember sitting next to you at some point in the semester and being like “she gets me.”

When is your birthday?
October 4

How do you relax when you’re stressed?
I like to turn my mind off and play an instrument. I’ll either go sit at the piano and just play random songs, or I’ll sit and try to play the guitar. I say try because I suck at it.

What makes a place home for you?
The place doesn’t make the home, the people do.

What’s your biggest passion?
My biggest passion is music. I would say teaching, but I don’t think that’s the case. I wouldn’t be as happy teaching something other than music. Oh, and also chocolate.

What’s your favorite time of day?
I would say I’m a morning person. I don’t typically sleep in too late. I like to wake up early so I can be lazy more hours in the day:)

Pet peeves?
Uggs and shorts. Walking on grass. When you drop your shoe and it turns over. YouTube ads.

 

Kait, when you move to Dallas in December come down every weekend and stay with me in my cool downtown apartment that I’ll magically be able to afford by then. Go be cool in Dallas and follow your dreams and teach and be an adult. Eat a lot of chocolate and get a dog but text me every second because you won’t be twenty minutes away anymore. (Okay, why are you moving there again?) I’m really going to miss you and I’m only just realizing that we will be hours away for real and it’s making me sad and nostalgic already so I love you. You’re my best friend and you know I hate being sappy but you’ve literally been there through it all so it can only go up from here. 🙂 Love ya Kaity. 😛

 

I first met Brittney during my second year at UT Tyler, the fall of 2012. She was in the band and friends with one of my very good friends, Randa. I had seen her and knew who she was for a while but we never had an opportunity to talk or hang out. But that changed during my second semester that year. Our schedules aligned and Brittney, Randa and my best friend Kait and I took our hour break on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and got bagels for breakfast. We all rode together and talked about goofy stuff, sang Christina Aguilera and owned the streets of Tyler. Brittney and I, even though we didn’t know each other, hit it off immediately. You know those people you meet and you just fall into step of an old friendship? That’s how meeting Brittney was. We had never spoken but it was easy to just talk to her and be myself around her. That’s not an easy thing to do for me. Brittney is just easy. Over the next five months we hung out, talked and learned about each other.

From the beginning I could tell that Brittney is a fierce friend. Over and over I saw her drop everything and drive hours to be with a friend that needed her. She’s loyal and protective and motherly. She takes care of her friends physically and emotionally. She is loving and gentle but mama-bear when she needs to be. Everyone who knows her loves her and lots of us consider her like a college mother to us. And she owns that role proudly.

Brittney plays the French horn and is a music major at UT Tyler. A few years ago she decided to major in education and even sold her horn, but by a providential sequence of events she found her way back to music and wants to teach elementary kids music. I’m selfishly glad because if she hadn’t returned to music we’d have never met. 🙂

 

Perhaps the best quality about Brittney for a single friend is her excellent wing-woman skills. Many a time she’s told me what to say or been cool for me when I’m not. She’s bold and brave and I admire those strong qualities in her because they so greatly contrast mine. Like during our dinner, for example, she left her number for our waiter because, “all he can do is say no.”

But underneath all that boldness and bravery and motherly instinct, there’s a softer side of Brittney. Her two cats, Jynx and Jypsy, are her real children. The cats make her a gentle giant, in a way. When I walked into her apartment they both greeted us with collars around their necks. Jypsy, the calico girl above, jumped up and climbed all over me in the chair while Jynx, a solid black boy, played it cool and slunk around the room. Brittney’s studio apartment is just as cute as she is. In the heart of the Azalea district she lives in a renovated garage studio apartment with open windows and a cozy bed. I wasn’t tired but when I walked in I just wanted to snuggle up in bed and sleep in front of the windows. That’s Brittney to me. She can make me feel comfortable in any situation and make me feel like home. And that’s a quality you’re born with.

I love you, Brittney, and I can’t wait to see where our friendship goes!

A couple of months ago standing in the shower, as you do, I had an idea. Course I hoped I remembered it by the time I got out to write it down because I have the memory of a newborn. But the general idea was this: I want to get to know my friends better and document our friendships where we are right now. I’m calling it Getting To Know You.

I’ve met some new people this year and developed older friendships as well but I realized I don’t know the things that make my friends who they are. I met all of them in college so the high school and awkward middle school years are vacant from my memory. And I realize spending a few hours with each friend is just a small drop into who they are but I’ll learn things I didn’t know. And that’s the whole point. Community.

More recently I read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and had a realization about just how selfish I am. Our nature as humans is self-centered and I’m only just realizing how bad it is. I don’t ask people how they’re doing, I wait for them to ask me. I don’t introduce myself, I wait for them to introduce themselves to me. It’s bad, y’all.
So I want to rid myself of that, and in an effort to be less selfish I want to invest in other people. I want to purposefully hang out with each of my friends and get to know them more, old and new. I’m excited to sit down and take pictures of each of them (oh yeah, I’m going to take pictures of them) and introduce them to you. It will be such a fun way to document our friendships this year.

 

I’ll be posting a new friend every Wednesday! I can’t wait for you to read it. 🙂 I lovely love love love these people. They’ve had such a cool impact on my life and they’ve helped me grow so much this year. They’ve encouraged me and put up with more than their fair share of crazy. (Thanks, guys.) I can’t wait to dig into these people that I love.

 

xx