My birthday is tomorrow! I will be nineteen. 🙂
Well, I’m over the sickness I had last time I posted. It was terrible! Sick is never good for a voice major, let me tell you.
So, I’ve had a few more revelations since my last posting. Can I just say that I’ve never been so directly contacted so often by God these last few weeks? I think there is a reason I don’t turn off KVNE or KLOVE. It speaks so solidly to me. Sadly, even though I am being punctured by Christ through the Subway man, Christian radio, and even school, I still cannot seem to get my heart in better shape! It’s like me trying to lose weight. I think about it all the time and obsess over it and know better but I just can’t seem to buckle down and do it! Why is this!?
I guess it’s the ‘getting older’ in me that is pushing me to finally change all of the things I need to change. Like my bedroom closet, for example. I’ve bought a lot of new clothes since I started working last fall and just didn’t have a place to put them. My closet was full of clothes too small for me. Why did I keep them there even though I had plenty of time to clear it out? It finally took the pressing of my wonderful boyfriend to make me do it. He stayed over for FOUR solid hours helping me hang new clothes, clear out old ones and bag them up, vacuum and completely organize. Needless to say, my room feels lighter, cooler and is much cleaner. So why don’t I learn a lesson and get everything else in shape?
I found a pretty solid answer, my friends: LAZINESS. Because of my chronic laziness disorder, God, in His omniscience, paired me with a man of the utmost opposite of the word. This man will not stop until things are done. No surface is left unorganized, unclean, or unwashed if he has anything to say about it. I, on the other hand, will leave things for another day if at all possible. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good clean room. But that would mean I would have to clean it. Do you see the issue? 🙂
This is clearly a sin! Laziness is keeping me from having a steady quiet time, getting up early for Sunday School, even praying regularly. It’s something I have struggled with my entire life! It is something I need to repent of and relinquish to Christ and lay this care at His mighty feet. Until then, I lie in a puddle of lukewarm doubt. If you think of me, say a prayer. 🙂