If you’ve been keeping up with my move on social media, you’ll remember my moaning and groaning about packing up by 500 square foot apartment and moving shells into a much, MUCH larger one. We’re talking almost twice the space here, people. Would you be surprised if I told you I can fill it up no problem? Didn’t think so.
This time, I had the presence of mind to snap some photos of my very empty, but still happy looking, 5301 apartment. I was surprised at my lack of feeling seeing it so desolate. This was my first apartment. The place that allowed me to move to Dallas at all. The place I stood in front of on the sidewalk crying as I watched my family drive away, realizing I was really alone. The place I ran to when I was upset or depressed. The place I hosted parties and family and friends. The place I made a lot (a lot) of stupid mistakes. The place I first met Paden. The place I adopted Ginger. The place where Paden’s dog Butter peed on my Christmas tree. The place I had my first Christmas on my own. The place I realized just how dark loneliness can get and just how scary suicidal thoughts can be.
The place I reached out for help and the place I grew into who I am right now.
But when I walked around that empty place, I felt nothing. I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to stay there anymore. I wanted to move. Nothing about that place was begging me to stay anymore. Too much pain and tears and sorrow and not enough happy happened in that place and it was just time for me to go. I needed a new start. I needed a physical representation of letting go. And this move was that for me. I’m in a brand new (to me) place and I’m able to truly start over here. I don’t have to look around at those walls and see the pain or remember words that were said in those spots. I get to really let it all go and forget it. For real this time.
So. Just for the record, here are the empty photos of my 5301 apartment. It served me well.
But it’s not you 5301, it’s me.
So, there she is. Empty and ready for the next soul to inhabit it and make it their own. Oh, btw. The photos are straight the floors just really are that crooked. 😛
I loved living here because it gave me the opportunity to discover my passion for styling, DIYing and my desire to gut a place and start from scratch. (A literal dream of mine since I was young.) It allowed me to change things I wanted to and to dream of what the space could be. I feel like I did a pretty damn good job of turning it into home for the two years I spent there. I hope the next person loves it as much as I did.
Love you, 5301. Bye forever!
PSSST! Click HERE to see the latest apartment tour of this space!