Day Two: Roatan, Honduras. Sigh. This place. Ugh. The beach. The food. The water. The palms. The jungle. If I ever get married this beach or the mountains is where I’ll do it.
This is the best we’ve ever looked.
That sunset. Man. Those mountains. Who wants to go in on a vacation home with me? I can offer you chocolate and $13.
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suit/sandals: F21, kimono: Gaudy Me, shorts: Marshalls, shades: Buffalo Exchange
Did I mention we had a balcony? Did I mention it was the best thing ever sleeping with that door open? Ugh. Staring at that blue water just makes me happy.
Also, is it okay to just wear a bathing suit around the house? I don’t have a pool so I’m thinking this suit won’t see the light of day for a while. Kinda wanna get my money’s worth. Right? Or like, wear it under my clothes or something if I don’t do laundry for a while and run out of underwear.
Don’t judge me.
How cool are those glasses?! I got them the last time I was in Austin at Buffalo Exchange. $8 later and they were mine. They’re all metal so there’s no chance of them snapping in half or anything. I love them. They’re the perfect darkness on sunny days and I also resemble John Lennon, so. #sokewl
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Oh haaaaaiiiii! Did you miss me? Don’t say no. It’ll crush me.
So if you follow me on Instagram (why aren’t you following me on Instagram? @melodyrich, k?) you’ve seen all the cruise spam I’ve been spraying. So how about some more of it here? I mean, this blog is me and I went on a cruise. Ergo, my blog went on a cruise.
I mean, it was freezing the day we boarded. Ya girl decided to wear a gauzy swim cover up and the thinnest denim shirt on the planet.
Day one we sailed to Cozumel, Mexico. We spent all day lying in the sun getting burned. This is the exact moment I earned the splotchiest sunburn I’ve ever had. I mean, my skin is still marked. It’s bad, y’all. But napping in the sun with a margarita next to your sisters is pretty neat.
Day two we woke up to the clearest water I’ve ever seen. Well, technically we woke up to the sights and sounds of that Carnival ship off our balcony. But that ship was in the clearest water I’ve ever seen. So, that’s something.
We disembarked and got on a small boat and headed to Isla de Pasion. (Add a tilde over that ‘o’ in Pasion, for me will ya?)Â We passed a yacht from Australia, a rusted sunken ship, and came upon this…
This is where they filmed your favorite Corona commercial. And this is where I fell in love with sand. Free margs and rum and guacamole? SIGN.ME.UP.
Let’s go back.
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Sometimes we aren’t loved the way we want to be.
You know what I mean?
So often as single people we get too caught up in being romantically loved by someone else. We hunt and search for that one person who makes us light up. We look for someone to give all of our love to. But while we’re doing that we’re missing it. We space on those that love us ​right now.​ Friends, family, coworkers, Jesus, church family, the waiter at that restaurant you frequent. We use up all of our energy ​looking​ when our efforts and love can be spent right in front of us on the people that love us in the ​now.Â
I don’t want to be like that. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen others’ unprecedented love for me expressed lately. I know it’s God reminding me that I already am loved. Even if I’m not ready to date right now and that marriage is the furthest thing from my mind. I’m already loved.
A couple months ago I started kind of mindlessly realizing that if I want to be a good wife someday I have to learn how to love. Which implies I never really learned how. I’ve always been a selfish lover. (Ew, and I don’t mean that in a gross way GUTTER MIND.) I “loved” so that others would “love” me back. But that’s not what love is. Love is selfless. It’s genuine and patient and giving. It doesn’t expect anything in return. (How tough is that one?) Love doesn’t play games.
It’s no secret that I want to move to Dallas. Because I’m a bulldog when it comes to my dreams I convinced myself not to put any roots down in Tyler. That meant no new friends, no new job, no new anything. The exact opposite happened. I started working at both of the stores in Tyler and when I did that? An entirely new world of Godly women was given to me. My prayer of years was finally answered. Godly girlfriends. I cannot tell you how incredibly happy I am at my job. I work with my friends. I work with people who genuinely love me and want to see me succeed. It’s truly amazing.
These are roots. These are the things I told God I didn’t want because why would I if I’m just going to move to Dallas eventually? Thank GOD He doesn’t listen to our selfishness, am I right?
God is giving me a chance to learn how to love. Platonically. Because if I can’t love other people, how can I love my husband?
Sometimes we aren’t loved the way we want. But we’re loved the way we need. Don’t overlook the ones that love you right now. Don’t miss investing in the people around you. Don’t miss loving them.
Life is funny.
When this year started I had plans. Ridiculous plans that I thought would make me happy and ‘fix’ all the things wrong with my life and myself. Like repairing my broken marriage, moving to Tyler, finding a high paying job that I didn’t really care for.
It’s the end of December and I’ve done none of those things. I’m still divorced (and happy), I still live at home, and I have TWO paying jobs that I love. I’m happy. And I never saw it coming.
I fell in love again and was broken-hearted again. I learned how to feel and how to love in a Godly way and how to let go. I learned that it’s okay to eat Italian food with your two girlfriends when a guy stands you up on a date with no explanation and then want to kiss the waitress when she brings you free cheesecake and says, “He doesn’t deserve you,” and then want to hug the waiter when he comes by and says how the waitress asked everyone in the kitchen if she should do it and everyone told her, “YES.” (Oh and then obvi block the guy. Duh.)
I’m still learning how to do what is best for me without constantly trying to people please. And not letting someone else’s potential thoughts about my decision affect my decision. I’m still learning to listen to that nagging voice in the back of my mind, cause guess what? She’s (almost) always right. I’m learning that what I want and what God wants aren’t lining up just right because I’m still selfish. (But, OH, do I want them to line up.) I’m still learning how to deal with boredom and that it’s really okay to be alone.
I have no plans for 2015. Well, I mean I have plans because I’m a planner and a doer, but realistically I know God is going to yank me out of them kicking and screaming and do what He wants and I’ll be happier than I ever imagined. Refining fire and all that.
I don’t know why I felt compelled to share this. Dating is weird. And hard. But I’ve seen a lot of Jesus in it. I’ve learned a lot about who I am in Him, really, when things get hard. You have these fantasies of cussing someone out when they pull out in front of you and you t-bone them, but when the adrenaline is pumping and you’re on the side of the road alone you find out who you are. Who you really are.
And who I am is a daughter of the King.
I am His.
I am His.
I am His.
military jacket: thrifted, tunic: Dressin’ Gaudy (HOLLER), tights: Dressin’ Gaudy, combat boots: Forever21
WHAT! AN OUTFIT POST!? I am BACK, baby. I wore this on Thanksgiving day in the mountains of Arkansas. My mom’s family rented a house in Mena that backed up to the Ouachita National Forest. *heart eyes emoji* The log house was surrounded by fields and fences and trees and mountains and the sun was prettier up there than down here. (Sorry, Texas.) The crisp cold and the sun setting behind me made for some pretty epic outfit photos. (Thanks sister!) We had so much fun hiking in the forest and playing dice and eating together and just being together. It’s been a while since our whole family has celebrated together and it refreshed me. Shel and I drove up Tuesday night and I stayed until Thursday night, driving back to work Black Friday. It wasn’t actually so bad! I survived, right?
Anyway, back to the mountains. UGH. They were gorgeous. I’ll either get married in the mountains or on the beach. It’s a toss up.
How was your Thanksgiving?
xx
