Health + Beauty

Tips For Living Alone As An Extrovert

- Melody

In the last six years, I’ve discovered a lot about the different personality types. There’s a definite difference between me and my younger sister, Shelby. We are so much alike, but our personality traits couldn’t be more different. Where Shel is content being home, I’m discontent. Where Shel is reserved at large parties, I couldn’t be more comfortable. I used to think of myself as an extrovert, but I’ve recently realized I’m a hybrid of the two.

I love being out in crowds. It fuels me. The hybrid part is being in those crowds with people I know well. I’ve gotten better, but I’m not great at striking up a conversation with a stranger. I have to trick my brain into thinking I’m acting and that this is all normal and fine when my insides are like WTF ARE YOU DOING THEY’RE GOING TO THINK YOU’RE WEIRD. More often than not, if I have the option of going out rather than staying home, I’m going out. In the past, a lot of that was fueled by being terrified of the silence in my apartment. Moving to Dallas meant moving to Dallas to live alone for the first time. Ever. I romanticized it for years but when I actually had to live it out, depression hit pretty hard. It’s easy to tell a depressed person to just get up! go out and do something! But when you’re living alone for the first time, know no one in your city (or the ones you do know you aren’t really close with), and it gets dark at 5:30, it can be crippling. No, it IS crippling. So how did I (literally) survive? How do extroverts and hybrids live alone? Here are the basic ways I’m surviving on a daily basis living alone as an extrovert.

 

GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE SILENCE

Yep. Living alone means silence. Even if you have the TV on 24/7 there will be moments when silence hits you. Just waking up in the morning, walking in the door from work with no one there to greet you, taking a shower. Never in my life did I anticipate how much silence there’d be living alone. Heavy silence, at that! I grew up in a house with two sisters and a set of parents. We did everything together. No matter what time someone came home, there’d likely be someone or some cat there to greet them. Dad watching the 6:00 news, Formula 1 races on Sundays, mom making dinner, sisters banging out homework at the dining table. Constant noise. Even when I went to my room, I’d be there with my dog watching Netflix and answering the occasional door knock. Living alone? None of that happens. The first two weeks I lived in Dallas I cried every afternoon when I got home from work. I’d call my boyfriend at the time wailing about how lonely I was and how I had no friends. It took five or so months of counseling and the steps below to get comfortable with this. And actually learn to love it!

 

IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT, GET CABLE. OR AT THE VERY LEAST, HULU

Yeah, your house is gonna be quiet. And dark. And empty. (Sad, yet?) When I told my counselor how much I missed life being in my house, she recommended I leave the TV on all day so that when I got home, it’d at least feel like someone else was there. And you know what? It worked. I got Hulu because of that. Netflix times out after three episodes, but not Hulu! I left that sucker running all.day. For months! I never thought I’d miss commercials, but yo. I missed commercials. Commercials were like a little connection to the outside world. I was controlling Netflix and knew when the next episode was coming up, but I got commercials and infinite scroll with Hulu. This summer, I actually opted in for cable. It’s definitely more expensive, but I know winter is coming and I’m going to get sad again, so being able to leave it on all day is really going to help.

GET A PET! EVEN IF IT’S JUST A FISH

Fish are pets too, kinda. Honestly, if I didn’t have Pepper…well, let’s just say I’m glad I had Pepper in those depressed months. Having her to excitedly greet me every day, even in a quiet apartment, let me know someone loved me. Even if she couldn’t audibly tell me. I could talk out loud to her, tell her about my day (like she cared) and pet her. If your apartment allows, adopt an animal! You’d be surprised how uplifting having another little life in your house is. I liked Pepper so much I went ahead and adopted another one. Oops. On top of them making you feel better, they distract you and take up more of your time. You don’t have time to be depressed or lonely if you’re feeding an animal or picking up the crap they left on your new West Elm rug or picking up cotton they pulled from a pillow. But hey! They turned that depression into anger and frustration. At least you’re not depressed now. My point is, get some life into your house. This includes plants!

LEAVE THE LIGHT ON

I started going to counseling right after Thanksgiving when the light was all but gone from this side of the planet. I mean, seriously. WHY does it have to get dark at 5:30 in the fall and winter?! My sessions started out at 5:00, right after work, but I quickly changed those to lunchtime appointments. Talking about being sad when it’s 40 degrees outside and it’s already dark just made me sadder. At least I’d have 2 seconds of daylight at home by moving my counseling sessions to lunch! She suggested I look into a sun lamp. A sun lamp is a lamp that emits light that mimics the sun. (Target carries them for relatively affordable prices.)  Sitting under fluorescents, or even just regular bulbs, doesn’t tell your brain you’re seeing the sun so you get sad. Brains are so cool! I’m fortunate enough to sit next to some pretty big windows at work, but even so, I brought some faux sunflowers to keep next to my computer. Just in case. Don’t want a sun lamp? Print out a photo of the beach or somewhere sunny. Just looking at it can instantly lift your mood. Swear. As for your house, if you can afford it leave some big overhead lights on. Or just a lamp! Walking into a dark house can be rough.

GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING

I know I just said that it’s easier said than done, but look. If you love people, go be with them. In a new city? Don’t know how? I gotchu, boo. I’m working on some posts that will help you do just that! I think part of the reason I dated so much is because I knew no one here. I mean it’s partly my fault for not reaching out to the handful of people I sort of knew here already, but at least I got some really insane stories out of it. Sure, date if you want. But if you’re looking for friends, go hang out in places you like. You’ll find like minded people there guaranteed. Find a home church, get a job with people your age, start following people on social media that live in your area. (It works, trust me.) Or, just stand on a chair in a bar and ask who wants to be your friend. That’s something I’ve always wanted to try.

 

What do you think? Have you tried these? Do they work for you? What do you do that helps you not feel so alone?

 

xx

#YDM Goes Natural: The End of Whole30

- Melody

After nearly a month since its ending, I’m finally writing about my Whole 30 experience! (This has truly been the longest month of my life.)  Whole 30, if you don’t know, is a 30 day program designed to revert your body to relying solely on a caveman’s diet essentially. You’re not allowed dairy, sugar, alcohol or grains for 30 days. Some people, like my friend Jennifer, are crazy enough to do it for upwards of 60+ days. I am not one of those people. However, Whole 30 has been good for me! So while I sit here at my desk eating macaroni and cheese, let’s talk about Whole 30.

30 days is a long time. When you’re not allowed any sugar, alcohol, grains or dairy it gets old pretty fast. Your creativity also runs out pretty quickly, or gets pushed to the limit. I ran out of ideas within the first week and resorted to 100% internet and Pinterest meal ideas.  I pretty much do everything in my life on the fly and this was no exception. I rarely meal planned, which could have been my downfall if I wasn’t already so committed to finishing the full 30.

BREAKFAST:

This was by far the hardest meal for me. Before I started, I’d eat either Greek yogurt + honey or oatmeal for breakfast. Since I wasn’t allowed either of these things, and I’m not a huge egg fan, I mostly just ate fruit. Whole 30 forced me to like bananas. I discovered I’m kind of a picky eater? I like what I like and don’t vary too often, but for the potassium and as just another food option, I ate bananas. I also made fruit salad with cinnamon sans whipped cream. 10/10 would recommend.

In week 2.5 when I discovered Lara bars, I ate those. “They” (the powers that be over Whole 30) say that your brain doesn’t know the difference between a Snickers bar or a Lara bar. To that I say, poppycock. My stomach sure knew the difference and that counts. Most of the Lara bars are Whole 30 approved, just be sure to check the ingredients list before chowing down. My favorites are the lemon pie, apple pie and key lime pie. I like pie.

On weekend mornings when I had a little more time for breakfast, I’d saute apples, ghee, and cinnamon. It. Was. Delicious. The great thing about Whole 30 is that I never felt guilt for eating anything. Since I could have ghee, it felt like I was eating like a normal person, only more conscious about what she was putting into her body.

LUNCH:

Lunch was usually leftovers from dinner the night before. Occasionally I’d choke down a spinach salad, but it wasn’t my favorite. Probably because I didn’t meal plan and add any chicken or meat to it, but that’s neither here nor there.

There were a couple of times I was forced to go out for lunch. Once, it was a Tex-Mex place and I was starving. I should win an award for passing on the chips and salsa. That is some serious will-power. I ended up ordering tacos and only eating the insides. Guacamole salad? I’ll eat the lettuce underneath. Taco guts? Yummy.
Two or three other times I checked out Mod Market, a local place serving up farm to table “fast” food. Now there’s a salad I can get behind.
Other times I just had to pass on going out. Which really wasn’t that hard! I knew I was doing this challenge for a reason and blowing it on Chick Fila for a quick lunch fix just didn’t seem fair to me or my body.

DINNER:

Dinner was where I really shone. When I actually did cook, I made some pretty creative stuff! Like hot wings, chicken parm without the parm, ranch dressing and chicken and vegetables (my favorite!). Honestly, if you have a craving for something, figure out a way to make it Whole 30! Fried chicken? Use almond or coconut flour and egg wash. Fried rice? Use cauliflower as a rice substitute. Chocolate? Just drink some apple juice or hot tea. This was my biggest hack! At night when I’d want something sweet, I’d just drink a few ounces of apple or cranberry juice while I made dinner. It was an easy fix and kept me out of my secret freezer chocolate stash. Over time, the juice actually tasted sweeter to me! It was weird.

WORKING OUT:

Honestly? I didn’t. I mean, I was more active that month than most other months, but I didn’t drastically change anything. I did a few workouts here and there and walked the dogs, but I didn’t join a gym or finish a workout DVD. I just ate better and thought more about working out.

WHAT I LEARNED:

This was difficult. Mildly, compared to some of the other things I’ve done in my life, but changing something you’ve been doing for years is hard. But I did it! And I lost twelve pounds! (I’ve gained about five of it back, but that’s to be expected.) More than anything, I’m just proud of myself. I did something on my own without needing to held accountable to anyone but myself. I needed that little boost, I think.

I’d always heard people brag about how differently their bodies felt when they ate clean. I knew there had to be some truth in it because why would so many people claim that to be true if it weren’t? It truly was amazing to watch my body gradually change over the course of thirty days. My guts felt better, my heart palpitations nearly ceased, and I looked better. Towards the end I could really tell I’d lost some weight and I felt more confident and proud that it wasn’t my working out that did it, but what I put in my body. I was incredibly conscious of that. It trained my brain to look at ingredients, only shop the outside walls of the markets, and stop filling up on carbs because it’s easier. (she says as she eats macaroni)

The craziest thing that happened was the size of my abdomen! Sure, I lost weight, but because I was eating clean I was virtually never bloated. All I drank was water and it showed. The day I was finished I ate wings and fried pickles and my stomach has never been the same. 🙁

HOW I FEEL NOW:

Since living on my own I’ve been solely responsible for what I eat and drink. While I don’t binge eat or necessarily eat terribly, I don’t eat a lot and when I do eat it’s things that aren’t that great for me. Grocery shopping with my friend Cait this month I made the passing comment that, “Cool! These groceries will last me all month!” She looked down at my basket and said, “How much are you eating? Are you eating enough?” “Oh…probably not.” And that’s true! I don’t really eat a lot. I get distracted very easily and don’t eat big meals. This last week I’ve been adding a snack at work in the afternoon just to give myself more energy. #LARABAR
I’ve made the promise to myself to meal plan before I grocery shop and stop buying pasta as a filler. It’s cheap and filling, but it isn’t good for me. Instead, I should replace that with quinoa or rice or greens. The last twenty-something days of eating like I used to have made me feel like I used to: bloated, tired, and unhappy. It’s insane how much food is tied to my mental well being. Two therapists have told me that so far and I just brushed it off, but believe me. Eat better, feel better.

FROM NOW ON:

I’ve virtually stopped eating fast food. It’s costly and never makes me feel good. It’s a nice splurge every now and then but isn’t a way to live my life. Sorry, Whataburger. 🙁 I’ve been drinking more water, cutting down caffeine (Bonus! It helps with my anxiety!), and cooking more at home. I haven’t drastically changed my lifestyle, but I’m working towards a more holistic way of living. This is just one piece of a very large puzzle.

 

-Have you/will you do the Whole 30 Challenge?
-How do you stay healthy?
-What are your favorite meals to make?

 

xx

When you don’t feel worth it…

- Melody


When you feel so broken wondering why you’re like this. When you wonder if you’ll literally ever be able to love someone in a healthy way. When you’re wondering where your self worth went. When it’s breaking your heart that you can’t see yourself the way your parents do. When it’s crushing you to see their eyes well up when you tell them you don’t love yourself. When you hear them tell you you’re worth it. When you’re wondering why someone that’s harbored feelings for you for years won’t even make it work with you. When you miss your ex. When you doubt if it’s love or you’re just holding onto something that makes you feel good. When you wonder why you need to hold onto someone to make you feel good in the first place and can’t be satisfied with your own self. When you know that fall is coming and probably along with it your depression. When your favorite shirt is dirty. When you text that guy because you’re bored or lonely or some other lame excuse. When no one shows up for your birthday. When you realize how far you still have to go. When you’re wondering why you’re not fixed yet. When you’re wondering how you’re so messed up. When you’re lonely. When you’re sad. When you wish that guy you have a crush on would just pay attention to you. When you know he isn’t the one for you. When you say something mean. When you say something passive aggressive. When you speak out of turn because your feelings are hurt. When you don’t get a reply. When an “I’m sorry” won’t work. When you’re broke. When you just want to delete everyone out of your life. When you believe you’ll never be married because you can’t be 1000% single for one single second. When you wonder what that is inside of you holding you back. When you’re sorry. When you’re broken. When you’re depressed and being so makes you even more depressed because you think of all the people pulling for you that really love you. When you think about how much your family loves you. When your heart is absolutely smashed like a month old Halloween pumpkin. When you think about how many people haven’t shown up for you in your life. When you remember the ones that do. When you don’t want to read that message that’s gonna hurt. When you feel weak. When you feel strong. When everything is sh*t. When everything is incredible. When you’re sick. When you can’t find your people. When you’re waiting. When you can’t understand why you’re not as far as you thought you’d be. When you don’t get that job. When you don’t have a loft in Deep Ellum. When you get married. When you date again. When you’re sunburned. When you’re healthy. When you find your people. When no one shows up. When you’re homesick. When you’re anxious. When someone dies. When you feel isolated. When you realize, again, that you moved away from everything familiar. When someone takes something from you. When you wreck your car. When you feel like no one loves you. When you feel more hopeless than you’ve ever felt. When you want something but can’t get it. When you feel worthless. When you think you’re nothing. When you wonder who spoke that to you and why you let it in. When you can’t shake the incessant down talk you hear your soul speaking to you. When you want to adopt every homeless animal. When you think you’re too far gone. When you want to jump off your balcony. When you feel higher than that one time you got your wisdom teeth out and were under anesthesia. When it’s raining and you’re happy. When you’re elated. When you kiss someone you love again. When you’re a girlfriend. When you’re a wife. When your dream doesn’t come true. When you finally let it all go.

 

Love yourself. Somehow find the strength deep down inside to keep going. And remember, it’s all going to be okay.

#YDMGoesNatural: Whole30 Update

- Melody 4 Comments

Well, we’re about halfway done with Whole 30 and despite some very minor setbacks, I’m doing great! I wanted to give an update on what I’m eating, how I’m making it work, and my thoughts so far.

SETBACKS

At Chuy’s for lunch one Sunday, I’d had a coldbrew coffee for breakfast (bad idea, already starving) and we waited for our food for three hours. Sue me, I ate some chips out of sheer starvation. When I say starvation, I mean the kind of starvation where you see your dead relatives floating around you beckoning you into that foggy meadow over there. Then there was that time a LITERAL teaspoon of cheese was mixed in with the breakfast taco guts. And that time I put in two of those tiny plastic half and half cups in my coffee and I couldn’t pour it out because the person who’d just made it was standing right next to me in the break room. And I’m sure the two times I’ve been out to eat haven’t been 100% kosher, either. But, hey! I’m halfway done and feel really good about myself despite The Chip Incident.

GETTING CREATIVE

During the first week, it was easy. Chicken, vegetables, fruit, repeat. No big deal. But when you eat chicken that way that often, it can get old. So you think of things you’re hungry for and figure out a Whole 30 way to make it! Ergo, my homemade mayonnaise, hollandaise and tarter sauce! There’s millions (probably) of recipes for Whole 30/Paleo sauces out there; ketchup, ranch, barbecue, steak sauce. My perception with Whole 30 was that if it’s rich and creamy, it’s out. But that’s not true! Like I said, you’re eating like a caveman. If cavemen had almond milk. It’s impressive how many recipes come up just googling “Whole 30 recipes.” I mean, things you thought were off limits have suddenly been transformed into something natural and delicious. The hardest thing to do during these 30 days is plan a meal. If you can do that, you’re golden.

Here are some of the things I’ve made so far:

-Chicken and broccoli stir fry
-Creamy foil packed potatoes and onions (I made this up! Want the recipe?)
-Turmeric and dill pan fried tilapia
-Tarter sauce (homemade mayo + dill + pickles)
–Hollandaise
–Mayonnaise
-Mixed greens and vegetable salad with balsamic vinaigrette
-Grilled chicken and vegetables
-Mashed potatoes
-Cherry lime-aid

WHAT I CAN’T WAIT TO EAT AGAIN

Breakfast has been the hardest for me. I keep oatmeal in my drawer at work and normally eat that, but oats are off limits with Whole 30. BUMMER. I’m not a huge fan of eggs either, fried or scrambled, I mean, I’ll eat them, but they’re not my #1. I usually just eat fruit. So, oatmeal. Cereal. WHISKEY, for God’s sake. Cake. Chocolate. Chips and salsa. CHEESE, DAMMIT. Sugar! (It’s literally in EVERYTHING.) Whole grain mustard. I really don’t miss a lot of things. I haven’t really been that much of a bread eater this last year, and I’ve severely cut down how much sugar I intake. Whiskey, though? I miss it. Not like in a dependent sort of way, like, I’m at a concert and want a drink kind of way. Before I started Whole 30, I ate and drank literally whatever I wanted. These 30 days are forcing me to be more intentional and thoughtful about what I eat and the things I buy.

HOW I EXPECT TO LIVE WHEN THIS IS OVER

I expect to live lighter. By that I mean, keep being intentional and thoughtful about the food I eat. I’ll still eat whatever I want, just less often than I did before. I’ll eat better fats, still cut out a lot of sugar, plan meals more, cook at home more often than not and generally be mindful. Can I make something at home instead of buying it? (ie: mayonnaise!) Probably, yes. Can I eat a salad for lunch and then cake for dinner? Sure. You’re an adult. Should I walk the dogs for an hour or keep binging on the Olympics? Probably binge on the Olympics, but w/e.

THE NEXT FIFTEEN DAYS

They’re probably going to hurt. But now that I’m on the downhill slope, maybe it’ll make it that much easier to resist temptation. Or that much harder. While at my parents’ last weekend I had a dream I ate a bag of chips from Chili’s. Like, I’d hidden them in a closet and ate them in my sleep. It was the saddest dream I’ve ever had. AND SHOULD TELL YOU HOW MUCH MY BODY MISSES CARBS. My brain is literally talking to me and asking me what is happening because we never go this long without carbs. Someone wrote out a timeline of how most people feel during the thirty days and it’s hilarious. I should’ve read it before I started this whole thing and maybe I’d have been more prepared. Last week when I was exhausted for no reason, right on schedule, I realized my body was finally starting to learn to live and run on good things. Not carbs. Way to go, body! You’re pretty cool.

 

Now the question is, who wants to take me to dinner September 1 when this is all over? #whiskey #missyou

 

xx

#YDMGoesNatural: Whole 30 + A Fitness Challenge

- Melody 3 Comments

On August 1, someone at work thought it would be fun/funny to start a company wide fitness challenge. In a baptist building. Where there’s cake more days than not. (WHY.) So, I think just to save themselves, they put up a cash prize. And if I’m being honest that was the big hook for me getting involved. $$$. Everyone that wanted to participate put up $25 and weighed in. On the last day of the challenge, October 31, we’ll all weigh in again and whoever loses the most weight percentage wise wins the $$$!

Remember on my Facebook page (why don’t you like it?!) when I said I was starting to transition to an all natural, toxin-free lifestyle (post to come on that, too!)? There’s no excuse for me not to do this challenge. I think it’d look a smidge hypocritical if I’m chowing on Chick Fila in the break room watching my coworkers suffer but hey I’m wearing all natural/toxin-free skincare can you tell. It literally will not kill me. I (probably) will not die from trying to eat better and exercise.
Coincidentally, the day I found out about the fitness challenge one of my dental hygienists turned friend (hi, Jennifer!) posted she was starting the Whole 30 challenge the same day our fitness challenge started. I’m a skeptic so I read up on wtf Whole 30 even is, decided it didn’t sound like a cult, and joined her. The hardest thing about this challenge? No alcohol. Or butter. Or sugar. KILL ME. (No, no. Don’t. I put this upon myself and not drinking will not kill me. Right? I mean, the sugar withdrawals might do a serious number on my psyche, though.) My goal is not to transition to a Whole 30 lifestyle 100%, although that might work for some of you, it’s more of a reset for me. A test of what’s left of my will power, if you will. I’ve never been one to go out of my way to be challenged, but I’ve found myself this year asking for hard stuff to be handed to me. (Don’t ever do that, btw. Because it happens.) The only reason I can think of to not do this is because it will be hard. (But Whole 30 kinda busted that theory out of the water.) AND I QUOTE:

“It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.”

*Gulp* Besides, who couldn’t benefit from a little challenge?

WHAT IS WHOLE 30?

I’m the wrong person to be asking since I literally just read about it four days ago, but I’ll try to sum it up. Whole 30 is a 30 day challenge where dairy, sugar (real or artificial), beans and legumes, alcohol (even in cooking), MSG and all grains are banned. You can eat whatever you want–inside those parameters. (Jennifer made ranch!) The point is not, however, to cheat the system and make Whole 30 approved pancakes or ice cream. (Don’t get them started on pancakes. Geez.) The point is to rid your body of junk and to teach it to live almost like a caveman, if cavemen had almond milk. Whole 30 will never hold a gun to your head and force you to eat anything. (It’s an inanimate website. It can’t.) It simply gives you a list of yeses and a list of nos. Abide by them. You’re an adult, for God’s sake. No cheating, no weigh-ins, no slips for 30 days. If you want to read more from the website itself, I’d start here, then go here, and end up here. If you’re serious, just read the whole thing!

 

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

I once did a juice cleanse for five days (but ate dinner!) and got dozens of weird looks and comments that sounded like, “why are you doing that,” “that’s so stupid,” “you’re an idiot,” “you look ridiculous,” “I’d be so hungry. I can’t understand why you’d want to do that,” “why are you licking the counter where I just made a sandwich,” so God knows I’m not doing it for the attention. My goal for years growing up with insanely low self-esteem was to lose weight. I’m talking the entirety of my teenage/early 20s. That damn BMI scale screwed up my brain and I always thought I needed to lose 20 pounds. (I didn’t.) After I got divorced and finally found some self worth, I decided I liked myself! (WHAT A CONCEPT!) Like, loved myself for the first time in 22 years. It was pretty awesome. Then I moved to Dallas and started a list of restaurants I had to try, and while (most) everything I’ve eaten has been utterly delicious, I’d like to maybe save some money and cook more at home. And hey, maybe eat a little better too while I’m at it. Oh, and probably do that workout DVD that literally has six layers of dust on it because I haven’t touched it since I moved. I just want to be a better steward of this kick-ass body while I’ve got it.

THE PARAMETERS:

  • Fully complete Whole 30 with no cheat days or resets
  • Exercise at LEAST three times a week, preferably five
  • Only water and black coffee
  • NO sugar
  • NO alcohol
  • NO grains
  • NO dairy
  • NO beans or legumes
  • NO artificial anything
  • ONLY what is on the approved list and what I make from it
  • Ignore the haters
  • No weigh-ins for 30 days

THE GOALS:

  • To challenge myself and win
  • To lose one jean size (losing weight isn’t my ultimate goal, but it’s a welcomed side effect)
  • To develop a habit of working out consistently
  • To treat dis body good, girl, and mean it

 

So here’s to me! Here’s to treating my body better and ultimately feeling better. Here’s to the next 30 days.

 

Today is August 8, day 8 of 92 of the fitness challenge and day 7 of 30 of Whole 30. Be sure to follow me on Snapchat (@melodyrich) where I’ll be documenting all my meals!

xx

One Thing To Do When You’re Depressed

- Melody 2 Comments

Weeds

Last month I opened up about my life with depression and anxiety. Thank you guys again for your sweet responses! In continuing with that conversation, I want to share with you one sure thing I know that clears my depression.

Going to counseling weekly for about a month and now bi-weekly, I’ve learned one thing about my depression: it will never go away completely. Honestly, that’s depressing in itself. (See what I did there?) It’s hard to imagine a life where depression will always be present and knowing that I will most likely always deal with this is hard to swallow. A few weeks ago I was doing really well but that damn depression just sneaks in on you and tries to take you down. But this time I was prepared.

My counselor preached to me in the first month that to combat depression I have to force myself, literally, to get up and do something. I did a terrible job at that for a long time. It. Was. Hard.

It’s easier to feel bad than to try and be happy.

But that’s exactly what I had to do. Fortunately, I had a clarifying moment last Sunday. The last week or so I had been feeling down despite going out and spending time with people and experiencing new things. I went to church and lunch on Sunday with a friend and then came home. I had plans that afternoon to visit my friend and her new baby in Plano and I was having a tough time motivating myself to get back up. I took a deep breath, sat up off the couch, put on pants and left the house. No, the grey-ness didn’t lift even in the car. But you know when it did? When I knocked on her door. When I walked in the house. When I held that baby.

Forcing myself to get up and live dissipates my depression. And I bet it’ll dissipate yours too.

How do you deal with depression? Is there a different way you work through it?

xx