I Went To The Doctor And Was Cool The Whole Time

Thursday night I tossed and turned wondering why I was so hot. Finally at 6:30 Friday morning I checked my temperature. 100.9. Nice. My throat was swollen and sore beyond relief. I called in to work and went back to bed. I slept on and off, only waking when my body needed to swallow, until four in the afternoon. I checked my temp again. 101.7. Great. My friend at work had gone home with strep earlier in the week so I assumed that’s what I had. (I’m a doctor, obvi.) I finally moved to the couch from my bed with my down comforter and pillow. I hadn’t eaten since the night before but starve a fever feed a cold, right? The only thing I wanted was ice cream. My throat was so hot anything else just didn’t make sense. So for the rest of the night I had two homemade blizzards while a cold pack wrapped in a wet rag cooled me down. By Saturday I only had a low grade fever but still slept for most of the day, eating yet another blizzard. Sunday I slept even more but came out of the fever fog with a throat so red and swollen my spit wouldn’t even go down it. I gagged back up some ibuprofen (are you loving this, yet?) and tried to go back to sleep. I abandoned all of my stubborn I’m-gonna-heal-myself tactics and swore to go to the doctor Monday morning. That night my sister started throwing up. (Hey! Anyone wanna come over for dinner?) I woke up this morning at 8:15 and convinced myself to finally get up. I found her on the couch. She’s been throwing up all day. (Seriously. Dinner?) Mom and I went into town and had the shortest doctor’s visit of my life.*

*By the way, this place is really amazing. Health Care Express is a clinic but it’s brand new and they take insurance. I like it so much better than my old doctor’s office even though my doctor was amazing. You don’t need an appointment and all the workers are kewl and wear jeans! They have coffee and cocoa and ask if you want water while you wait on the doctor and they’ll sent your meds to any pharmacy you want. Love love love. I go here now because I hadn’t been to my doctor in so long and now I have to go as a new patient and they’re not taking new patients now. This place is a little more expensive but for what I need right now it’s perfect.

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We walked in and I made myself some meh hot chocolate from their complimentary Keurig. (I know. Faaaaancy.)

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The same girl that called me back the last time I was in for strep called me back and took my temp and blood pressure and asked if there was any chance I was pregnant. No, I said to which my mom said, thank goodness. She left and brought back what I knew she would; the longest cotton swab I’ve ever seen and started heading it towards my mouth. She asked if I was a gagger and I meandered around giggling and then WHAM. Cotton swab in the back of my throat. I gagged about three times and then coughed the swab out of my mouth. She said, I think I got it. HAHAHA I HOPE YOU DID BECAUSE THAT CANNOT HAPPEN AGAIN is what I wanted to say.

A few minutes later the coolest old man came in and said, Welp. You have strep! To which I replied yay! He sat down on the table next to me and listened to my breathing and I had to take four of the deepest breaths I’ve taken since I was a voice student which made me cough like I’ve been smoking a pack a day for six years. (We Taylors have the best lungs.) He prescribed me some meds and we were off. I bought Pepper more dog food and then we swung by Schlotzky’s where Macklemore handed us our food. I tried getting a picture but mom was all no don’t embarrass me and I was like whatever YOU don’t embarrass ME. So if you’re ever at Schlotzky’s in Longview tell Macklemore what’s up and ask him what happened to his music career. Thrift Shop was killer.

So now I’m home and just took my steroid pill and almost gagged that up because it is THE most vile pill I have ever put in my mouth. I don’t care how good it makes me feel. The taste… I would take ten butt shots before I take another one of those. Butt shots > steroid pills.


Hope your Monday doesn’t taste like steroids.



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