Ever feel like you’re moving a mile a minute but you’re not getting anywhere?
Since summer started I’ve had tons of free time and I’ve filled it with cleaning, exercising, laundry, Jason, road trips, wedding planning, and the couch. I’ve done a lot of moving during this time but I haven’t moved. Jason often makes the comment that if I don’t have something to look at, do, or think about I’ll just go to sleep. And that’s the truth. Every time we go on a date I’m awake as ever but as soon as you put me in that car and drive me home I lie my head against the seat and go to sleep.
I see things differently now. Becoming a wife has made me see this house as my house. I want to keep it clean, do my laundry, and take care of it. I never really take a moment for myself. If I know something has to be done it nags at me and itches until I get up and do it. Right now I have about 20 or more things on my to-do list. Some looming in the near future, others farther off. But none of them matter past November 20. It breaks my heart to see nothing eternal on that to-do list. No quiet time is scheduled, no verses I wanna read.
In this moment, I long so much to be married. It’s been a long nine months and we’ve still got five and a half to go. I want quiet. I want alone time and to be in that country rock house with cows and a bus barn in the backyard. But I can’t speed up time. I need to soak up THIS moment and revel in these months when I’m still apart of my family. It’s difficult, to say the least. But these aren’t bad times. There the good times. (that sounded cheesy, didn’t it?)
So, in my effort to produce a blog out of nothing, I think I did alright. Hopefully next time I’ll have something more profound. 🙂