It’s a gorgeous day here in Kilgore. It’s a tad warm for my taste and I can only imagine what May-August is going to bring. No more crackling night fires! 🙁
Anywho, I guess lately Jason and I have just been longing to be married already. At times it proves difficult to be 50 minutes away from him all the time and not being able to be out there with him. But last night we were together almost the entire day. We were talking and I said something about only having nine more months. The realization of what I had just said hit me. Nine more months and I won’t be under my parents’ roof anymore. Nine more months and I will have a lot more responsibility. Nine more months and I will have bills for the first time in my life. Nine more months and I will have a house of my own. Nine more months and I will be a wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited! But I’m also sad and terrified. I’ve never been away from my family. I’ve always lived at home. It’s going to be difficult not only being out of the house but also being 50 minutes away. I love being with groups of people and making them laugh. I like attention and the spotlight. God is definitely showing me how much that consumes my life by getting married. I’ll be in a house with one other person for a while and be in a town that has NOTHING. (and when I say nothing, I mean a school with about 150 kids in it and 2 “restaurants.”) It WILL be an adjustment for me. I won’t have a full, busy, loud house anymore. I’ll have a quiet, country, calm house. In ways I think it will be good and refreshing for me. But in other ways I don’t know what I’ll do with all of that spare time and energy. I will miss my family, no doubt about it. Jason and I have had countless conversations about it and most of them ended tearfully on my end.
I know marriage will be exciting and new and I cannot wait for it! But I just ask that you would pray for me to not feel lonely and empty when I leave. I don’t know what will happen and what all I will be feeling then, so just pray for me. 🙂