When I left UT Tyler in May I was confused, scared, and optimistic. When my divorce was final the month before my life stopped and I thought it was over. I tried moving on but I couldn’t let go. I committed to pray for God to restore my marriage, to restore me and show me my worth in Him. I was almost in a constant state of prayer during that time about myself, my marriage, and my new life out of the university. I thought finding a job that made me feel worthwhile would be easy. Ha! From the moment I graduated I started applying to jobs. A friend told me to look for secretary or receptionist jobs to ease myself into the working world. Well, looks like God didn’t want me there. I probably applied to fifty jobs and either didn’t hear back or was told I wasn’t qualified enough. (How?)
A month went by after graduation and God put Jason back in my life. I was… elated. And still am. And while there’s a lot of work to be done still I’m happy about where I am. God showed me who I am in Him through this horrific situation, and while I wished it wouldn’t have happened I am better for it. I found strength I didn’t know I had. I found the mercy and grace of Jesus in a new and beautiful way. I found love. I found peace. It took fire to refine me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Another month went by and Jason’s mom offered me a job in her daycare. I turned down the first offer purely out of fear and worry. Thankfully she had another position open and I snatched it up. I didn’t know what to expect. Me? In a daycare? 10 babies to take care of? Yikes. I was pretty scared. I mean, I’ve never had a full-time job before and this sounded hard and I’d have to meet new people and start all over somewhere else and blah blah blah. I could’ve come up with a million excuses but I accepted the job and started the following Monday. I walked through the door and started training. For the next half hour I learned the ropes and rules. That whole week was school for me. I learned hundreds of things I never knew before and developed relationships with my coworkers and the babies. They’re my kids now and I can’t believe I get to take care of them all day. I think about what kind of homes they go home to and if they’re loved as much as I love them. I pray for them and their parents and their lives and pray they’re blessed and happy and healthy. I can’t believe how much I’ve come to care for these tiny humans in just two short weeks. It’s odd for me. But I’m in love. I’m happy and at peace! Never thought I’d get to say that.
While I’m still searching for other opportunities in a field more in line with my passions, I’m loving where I am right now. I’d love to find jobs or paying internships in fashion and makeup/hair. This blog has really opened up a new part of myself and developed new fiery passions and hobbies so for that I am thankful!
It’s been a wild, wild year so far. I have learned more about myself and Jesus in 9 months than the entire 22 years I’ve been alive. I feel blessed, happy, free, and peaceful.
We’ll see how I feel when I start my two online classes today! Intro to probability and statistics and Biology/Lab I. Yikes.
Happy Monday 🙂