Sometimes

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Sometimes we aren’t loved the way we want to be.

You know what I mean?

So often as single people we get too caught up in being romantically loved by someone else. We hunt and search for that one person who makes us light up. We look for someone to give all of our love to. But while we’re doing that we’re missing it. We space on those that love us ​right now.​ Friends, family, coworkers, Jesus, church family, the waiter at that restaurant you frequent. We use up all of our energy ​looking​ when our efforts and love can be spent right in front of us on the people that love us in the ​now. 

I don’t want to be like that. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen others’ unprecedented love for me expressed lately. I know it’s God reminding me that I already am loved. Even if I’m not ready to date right now and that marriage is the furthest thing from my mind. I’m already loved.

A couple months ago I started kind of mindlessly realizing that if I want to be a good wife someday I have to learn how to love. Which implies I never really learned how. I’ve always been a selfish lover. (Ew, and I don’t mean that in a gross way GUTTER MIND.) I “loved” so that others would “love” me back. But that’s not what love is. Love is selfless. It’s genuine and patient and giving. It doesn’t expect anything in return. (How tough is that one?) Love doesn’t play games.

It’s no secret that I want to move to Dallas. Because I’m a bulldog when it comes to my dreams I convinced myself not to put any roots down in Tyler. That meant no new friends, no new job, no new anything. The exact opposite happened. I started working at both of the stores in Tyler and when I did that? An entirely new world of Godly women was given to me. My prayer of years was finally answered. Godly girlfriends. I cannot tell you how incredibly happy I am at my job. I work with my friends. I work with people who genuinely love me and want to see me succeed. It’s truly amazing.

These are roots. These are the things I told God I didn’t want because why would I if I’m just going to move to Dallas eventually? Thank GOD He doesn’t listen to our selfishness, am I right?

God is giving me a chance to learn how to love. Platonically. Because if I can’t love other people, how can I love my husband?

Sometimes we aren’t loved the way we want. But we’re loved the way we need. Don’t overlook the ones that love you right now. Don’t miss investing in the people around you. Don’t miss loving them.

2 Responses to “Sometimes”

  1. Jennifer

    It’s been awhile since I’ve been by this blog, and it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged myself. I took a bit of a break without blogging or saying anything. But this is one of the first blog posts I saw that I missed.

    This was beautifully said. Thank you so much for sharing it. 🙂

    • Melody

      Thank you so much, Jennifer! And thank you so much for reading. It really means a lot. I love your comments. 🙂