Goodmorning! I’m thankful for this day because I had 2 hours off from school so I visited our local coffee shop and got coffee and yogurt. Yumm. Very rarely do I eat breakfast, so this was awesome.
Since Jason and I got engaged last October I’ve been struggling with my lack of knowledge. Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be in the middle of it all. If we had company over I’d stay up as late as I could listening to the conversations because I didn’t want to miss anything. (My parents can testify!) I’m still that way. I have no patience. So needless to say, I have a longing for knowledge of the future. I need to have a plan. I want some direction. I long to know where I will be in the next few months and years. When I pray for something and don’t receive what I want, I stop praying. (I know. It’s awful. It gets better.) I’m selfish and impatient. I cry because I have no idea where Jason and I will be in a year from now. I’ll be leaving KC but to go where? I feel lost and so uncertain. I feel unplanned and unprepared.
But Sunday morning in our Sunday school class, Dad was talking about the importance of prayer. He read this verse:
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 NIV
If we diligently pray to Him and call out His name He will answer us and reveal His plan to us. GREAT things that we don’t know! GREAT! –Side note: What’s funny is that our great and God’s great are two TOTALLY different things. We can’t even begin to imagine what those Great things are!– When Dad started talking about that, I was convicted. Wholeheartedly. I can’t remember a time when I’ve prayed diligently for anything. Much less had patience for the answer. I wanted to cry. Once again, God was tugging at my heart for me to pay attention to Him. To pray to Him for the things I desire of His.
I need to wait. To just be still. But my heart says, “But, GOD! Do you realize how hard that is for me?! Do you know my schedule every week!? I have zero free time.” And then I’m convicted again.
I’ve let myself become so overwhelmed I put God on the back burner. He became of less importance to me. After all He has done for me.
I need to pray for patience. For my heart to become still. For my life in general to become still. It’s difficult. And I’ll be honest, I haven’t done a great job so far this week. But it’s on my heart.
Join me in praying for stillness!